I was a people pleaser most of my life. Until summer of 2019 when I pushed myself to my edge of complete self-abandonment. It wasn’t something that I was aware of, it was actually in my blind-spot. My dear sister and mentor Anahata Ananda helped me come to this realization while in a 1:1 session with her last year.
Fast-forward to a year later, I have completed Anahata’s breathwork facilitator program as well as assisted in facilitating breathwork alongside her and some other beautiful healers just a week and a half ago in Sedona, AZ. Talk about full circle!
This change in me didn’t happen overnight. In fact, it took a full year to finally get out of my own way in order to take the steps necessary to fully embrace this work I have stepped into. It was painful, uncomfortable, emotional, yet completely necessary.
I’ve received therapy, energy work, acupuncture, body work, coaching, training, practiced yoga, meditation, breathwork, ceremony, slept a lot, the list goes on. Through all of this work, I have finally learned to tune into my intuition to honor my ‘yes’ and my ‘no.’ Putting my own needs first has been the primary practice that I have learned.
Saying no has provided quite a bit of discomfort in me, however. Mostly because of my fear of abandonment. Fear that I might hurt someone’s feelings or that I may lose a relationship. It can be quite uncomfortable.
The more we dive into these practices, our own personal growth, and truly stepping into service, the more we have to honor our own needs. With that, it requires getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Brit and Anahata in Sedona, AZ
Firstly, when you have a decision in front of you and you are undecided what the best answer is:
1.Meet all of your needs first and foremost. We don’t make wise decisions when we are hungry, thirsty, or unclean. Get showered, eat something and hydrate. Stretch and move your body.
2. Get quiet. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and breathe. Calm your mind and nervous system.
3. Make a pros and cons list.
4. Think of your WHY. What is the reason you would say yes? What is the reason you would say no? What reason feels best in your body?
5. Feel into your body— when you say no to this thing, how does it feel in your body? When you say yes— how does it feel in your body? Does it light you up, or contract you?
Once you make the decision, stick to it. One thing that is really difficult is saying no, and then feeling guilty about it after (I know this because I’ve been there). A ‘no’ response often leads to ‘yes’ in other areas of our lives. Give your answer and leave it. Sit in the discomfort of the answer and trust that your intuition will never lead you astray.
If you are still feeling uncomfortable,
1. Ask yourself why and journal about it. Writing is such a powerful tool that is often overlooked.
2. Don’t distract yourself from what you’re being called to face. Stop scrolling through your phone and take some time to really feel it.
3. Talk about your discomfort with a trusted friend.
4. Take a bath, practice yoga, or meditate.
5. Apply some essential oils for extra soothing like lavender or clary sage.
I hope this is helpful to you, as it has been very helpful for me!
Reply here if this blog post resonates!
So much love for these sisters!