The word ‘balance’ is relative based on the individual. My balance is different than yours and vice versa. All of our tolerances, limits and beliefs are different. Just like our ‘comfort zones.’
Last week I had the pleasure of spending some quality time with some of my best girlfriends at Breitenbush Hot Springs. I was gifted the name by my best girlfriends— ‘Brave Panda’. Now, this wasn’t our typical Girl’s Weekend that we’ve been taking the past few years with fancy spas, dinners, dress-up, dancing, and a solid amount of alcohol. This one was different. Complete with cold plunges in the river, clothing-optional hot springing, daily vegetarian meals, un-plumbed cabins with shared bathroom amenities, stargazing, zero cell/wifi for 4 days, and dusty feet. I’m really proud to say that I was able to convince some of my closest girlfriends to experience this together. Let’s be honest, some of them are city gals who rarely, if ever, choose to get off grid for an adventure like this. A pat-on-the-back to me for the persuasion, and kudos to my girlfriends for being brave and embracing our beloved mother nature! I’m grateful for my new ‘Bush’ nickname, because I tend to run toward the hill instead of run from the hill.
To be honest, I’ve been craving experiences that will help us to drop into nature, ourselves & each other. Taking the road less traveled and allowing space in our minds & hearts. This trip wasn’t much out of my personal comfort zone, however (cue Brave Panda). Clothing-optional at hot springs isn’t new to me, I eat vegetarian for most of my diet, and I’ve experienced & hosted many retreats. The healing space is familiar. Being off-grid without cell service isn’t new. Heck, I’ve been peeing in the woods since I can remember.
However, for many of my girlfriends, this trip wouldn’t be their first, second or even third pick— it wouldn’t have even crossed their minds as an option. Some of them had never experienced hot springs, some rarely get out of cell service, and two of them have children so it can really make a mom uneasy if their spouse couldn’t reach them. Unplumbed cabins and shared bathroom space was a challenge for some, and many of us aren’t used to hauling our luggage on carts to get to our room.
Needless to say, we all survived, thrived and shed a layer of stress. We soaked in the springs, plunged in the cold river, hiked in nature, made besties with a bunny, and saw more shooting stars than we can count. It was pure magic. Fresh air, clean water, clear skies without light pollution, deep conversations, dirty feet & makeup-free faces. My best friends chose to get out of their comfort zones to be together and experience something different.
I’m so proud and thankful to have these individuals as life-long friends. They know me deeply, my heart, and my passions. They don’t judge, and they actually listen to learn. This leads me to share why it’s so important as a female to have strong, loving female friends. I know it is out of some people’s comfort-zones to make new female friends, and trust. The term “no new friends” is used too often and loosely in my opinion, because there are opportunities everywhere to connect, share, and love each other.
The feminine is stronger as a collective. I have experienced some serious judgement from other females my entire life. As a beautiful, strong, blonde woman, (I get it from my mama) I know that I can be intimidating. Therefore, I always put in a little extra effort to demonstrate that I am non-competitive with other women and that I am open & loving. As an empath, I can feel judgmental eyes from a mile away. I also know deep down that the judgement doesn’t have anything to do with me, but the other persons self doubt & insecurity. It’s okay, and I forgive those who judge or are insecure with themselves. I understand and see your pain. However, I will not make myself smaller to help you feel more secure, but I will always be nice, loving, and understanding. And no, I don’t want to take your man. I’m perfectly happy in my relationship, thank you very much.
The best compliment I’ve received from a close friend is that I am a non-competitive woman. Wow! I strive to make other women feel at ease and truly value making this journey we call life more enjoyable and easeful for the masses.
Here’s some of my tips and tricks to making and sustaining new and lifelong girlfriends:
Be aware of your resting bitch face (RBF). Wear a smile when you meet someone new and don’t judge a book by its cover! Some of the most beautiful women I have met are some of the nicest and most intelligent people. It’s too easy to be intimated by beauty, but until someone gives you a reason to dislike them, give them a chance. There IS such a thing as bullying beautiful women. Don’t do it. It’s not cool.
Look other women in the eyes. Looking them up & down can make us feel your ‘judgy’ eyes. Introduce yourself and shake hands. If you’re a ‘hugger’ just ask and give a hug!
Compliment something you like about them. Love their earrings? Say it! Do they look good? Tell them. Only give a compliment if it’s genuine. It’s a great way to spark conversation.
If you’re talking to a couple and you’re a female, address the woman first. It makes us feel as though you are interested in getting to know us, not just our significant other.
Invite a new gal pal out to coffee or lunch and share your hearts. Vulnerability is beautiful and brings us together. Share your challenges and tribulations. We should be celebrating each others triumphs, and helping each other when we’re in the ‘thick-of-it’.
Make time for girls trips! Vacationing with your besties will bring you closer and is extremely healing. Make it happen and set a date in the calendar.
Start a women’s group. I’m in a few! I’m in an all women’s philanthropy group (PEO chapter BV) where we raise money for educational scholarships for women. I’m also part of a super fun wine club that we named “Sexy Ladies Wine Club” and each month we take turns hosting wine nights in our homes. It’s lovely. Get together with your fellow women and shoot the shit. Life is too hard to do it alone. Plus, who wants to talk about their period with other guys? It’s us ladies who have the answers to lady issues!
Retreat with your ladies. Belize with the Boersma’s isn’t an only-women’s retreat, but bring your bestie for some quality time together.
Social media is a great way to support your friends! Like, comment & share their posts. Support your friends in whatever way possible. I can’t think of a single person that doesn’t appreciate being supported by their friends. Tell them when they are killing the game!
Support women-owned businesses and build up your friends who are looking to grow. Don’t ever discourage your friends from pursuing their dreams. Support women in their endeavors!
I’m always open to hearing your tips & suggestions!
All my love,